This week I went with the boy who shares my life to a Tae Kwon Do class. I watched as he followed the instructions, trying to do sit ups and jabs and reverse jabs, he was so happy. At the end, all the children were learning a sequence, and I watched as he copied as best he could and then at the end shouted "YAH!" along with the other children.
I was amazed at the freedom of his expression - how he really didn't care what anyone else thought of him, didn't care if he was doing it "right", he was so at ease with himself. I recalled how awquard I felt in my own skin, even up until recent years and how even now, I probably couldn't do what he did. I would just have felt so selfconsicous, so embarassed, so afraid of negative judgement. I am so entrenched in fear that I often miss life's opportunities. So damaged.
And as I watched him, long awaited tears fell down my cheeks, I gulped in pain. I was so proud of him the emotion was brimming. I was just ecstatic with joy that he was so free.
Since then, I have been thinking about how to not damage his authentic expression. How can I stop his confidence being damaged? May be there are no gaurentees, but I believe with care, with self care too, I can be the mother that I need to be to protect him when I need to.
I am getting closer and closer to pulling him out of school. After two months of school, he has been taught about retribution, seen children punished when in need of healing and learnt how to be controlled with punishments and rewards. I am sure he has learnt lots of positive beautiful things, like.... when a mother came in to talk about alternatives to houses, and meeting a builder, and discovering about the past 100 years. But I am just not sure that I want to risk loosing his creativity and authenticity? Whilst so many children thrive in school, it isn't suitable for every child because it caters for one type of personality, one type of learning style. The trouble is I don't know if it is his style and deep down I doubt it is.
All I know right now is that I am so lucky to share my life with these children.
Showing posts with label family day out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family day out. Show all posts
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Barefoot Walking
Barefoot walking is therapeutic according to 19th century priest Father Sebastian Kneipp from Germany. I'd heard of reflexology and knew that gait can be improved when walking barefoot, but Father Sebastian suggested that a disease he had suffered from was cured. I believe that walking barefoot is good for circulation too. What was interesting was how grounding it was.
We visited an outdoor nature centre, and paet of the experience was a barefoot walking trail. It started off (as you would expect) with the removal of shoes. Babies in slings, and our son holding Captain Underpants hand, we began on latticed rubber matting on mud; that was pleasant enough. The next sensation was a cold muddy waterbath, it was refreshing and a gentle start. The ground under foot gradually became more stoney! The most painful was a waterbath with stones and some coal type rocks. The bed of large rounded stones and log rolls was like a pleasant massage. To finish there was a trail of straw, hardened clay and a squishy mud bath!
I know I always tend to over analyse, but I stopped and spoke to my family about how it really did feel like a therapy. In the moment when you are walking on sharp rocks, there is nowhere else you can be. And it was so grounding to be focussed on each step.
In that moment I woke up. Not in the sense that I wasn't tired, it was rather the opposite, as if I stopped to listen to my body and I felt how exhausted I am.
I googled Barefoot Therapy and found out there are holidays! I think for now I will dream about building my very own experience in my back garden...
http://www.shacklabank.co.uk/site/content_contact.php
We visited an outdoor nature centre, and paet of the experience was a barefoot walking trail. It started off (as you would expect) with the removal of shoes. Babies in slings, and our son holding Captain Underpants hand, we began on latticed rubber matting on mud; that was pleasant enough. The next sensation was a cold muddy waterbath, it was refreshing and a gentle start. The ground under foot gradually became more stoney! The most painful was a waterbath with stones and some coal type rocks. The bed of large rounded stones and log rolls was like a pleasant massage. To finish there was a trail of straw, hardened clay and a squishy mud bath!
I know I always tend to over analyse, but I stopped and spoke to my family about how it really did feel like a therapy. In the moment when you are walking on sharp rocks, there is nowhere else you can be. And it was so grounding to be focussed on each step.
In that moment I woke up. Not in the sense that I wasn't tired, it was rather the opposite, as if I stopped to listen to my body and I felt how exhausted I am.
I googled Barefoot Therapy and found out there are holidays! I think for now I will dream about building my very own experience in my back garden...
http://www.shacklabank.co.uk/site/content_contact.php
Saturday, 1 October 2011
A Day in the Sun
I always find that it doesn't matter how bad I am feeling, how tired I am, how caught up I am in my negative thinking, as soon as I go outside and potter around the garden, or go for a walk on a sunny day, I just feel great.
Today we had a long day out, we drove to our nearest town, parked and began strolling through the park down to the town centre. We went to the health food shop and bought some freshly cooked spanacotas (I cannot spell it - spinach in filo!) and lentil flan, and with babies in slings still walked to the Buddist cafe. I am so astonished at far one of my babies walked today, she was unstoppable!
I have been reading Deborah Jackson's book "Letting go as children grow" and while I am not even halfway through, it has really illustrated that as far as I have come, I am still trying to control my children. She explains that children, when left to explore naturally, do so safely. (Of course not in front of cars or with chemicals! But within nature they explore and understand their limits). So I have had tolet go because constantly trying to limit one's child can decrease their confidence and actually hamper their development, making situations less safe for them. She also claims that you can make exploration more dangerous for your child by introducing fear and expectations that can then occur because of the seed of doubt - i.e. if a child is happily balancing on a wall and you say "arghhhhhhh! Look at you, you'll fall!" then knowing that, they'll be thinking about falling and thence fall, when not knowing that they may not have. Roll on today when my baby is climbing everywhere and I am having to not look at having to let go. She is climbing onto our dining chairs, then onto the dining table and crawling around eating fruit and then clmbimg back onto the chair and onto the floor. I watched as she once, twice tried to climb down from the table top where there was no chair.. she quickly pulled her legs back up and located the chair andsafely got herself down... on our walktoday Ihad to trust she knew how far she could walk and tried torespect her will and it was enjoyablebut notsomething I can do without support. Two babies need two adult hands!
Head shake moment of the day: Watching my husband watch the "four candles" sketch on uTube... again.
Today we had a long day out, we drove to our nearest town, parked and began strolling through the park down to the town centre. We went to the health food shop and bought some freshly cooked spanacotas (I cannot spell it - spinach in filo!) and lentil flan, and with babies in slings still walked to the Buddist cafe. I am so astonished at far one of my babies walked today, she was unstoppable!
I have been reading Deborah Jackson's book "Letting go as children grow" and while I am not even halfway through, it has really illustrated that as far as I have come, I am still trying to control my children. She explains that children, when left to explore naturally, do so safely. (Of course not in front of cars or with chemicals! But within nature they explore and understand their limits). So I have had tolet go because constantly trying to limit one's child can decrease their confidence and actually hamper their development, making situations less safe for them. She also claims that you can make exploration more dangerous for your child by introducing fear and expectations that can then occur because of the seed of doubt - i.e. if a child is happily balancing on a wall and you say "arghhhhhhh! Look at you, you'll fall!" then knowing that, they'll be thinking about falling and thence fall, when not knowing that they may not have. Roll on today when my baby is climbing everywhere and I am having to not look at having to let go. She is climbing onto our dining chairs, then onto the dining table and crawling around eating fruit and then clmbimg back onto the chair and onto the floor. I watched as she once, twice tried to climb down from the table top where there was no chair.. she quickly pulled her legs back up and located the chair andsafely got herself down... on our walktoday Ihad to trust she knew how far she could walk and tried torespect her will and it was enjoyablebut notsomething I can do without support. Two babies need two adult hands!
Okay the kangaroo has nothing to do with a walk in England, I took it in Australia but this kangaroo illustrates the heat of the day and my sense of being in the moment!
Head shake moment of the day: Watching my husband watch the "four candles" sketch on uTube... again.
Saturday, 13 August 2011
A Day Out
Today we've had a wonderful trip out. I'm still feeling rather low about the whole NHS-cut-up-my-face-without-bothering-to-ask-and-for-no-apparent-reason thing, so I needed the escape from my self-imposed sulking. I know deep down that there is no point in thinking negatively, use these thoughts to make change. I went to see a plastic surgeon for creams to reduce the scaring and he said that the pit in my lip will even out if I massage it firmly 20mins a day when the stitches fall out. And I have a voice so I can campaign for the NHS to treat people with more respect and honesty. I can make a difference for someone else, and that's a great opportunity.
In the vein of seeing opportunity from negative situations, today we acted on our "people shouldn't" thoughts and it yielded a positive outcome.
As we were walking round the Eco centre grounds, we saw lots of litter and dog mess everywhere. My husband and I often get angry, having thoughts like "people shouldn't drop litter, people should pick after their dog". Instead of moaning, we decided to do our own litter pick.
While I often pick up litter, this time we had a lot of fun because the centre lent us pincers and a bag holder!
Our 4 year old loved it! We were all involved, the beautiful babies who share our lives watched and bobbed from the safety of their slings. In an hour we managed to fill a whole bin liner full of plastic bottles, wrappers, beer cans, cigarette butts, etc., and we all felt so fulfilled.
Litter pincers definitely going on my wish list.
Our next activity involved my walking ahead with a piece of chalk (okay I was sulking again - but I turned it into a game...) I used twigs to make arrows and drew arrows with chalk and my son and Captain Underpants followed us and loved it!
If you have an eco friendly activities for the family to enjoy please share x
In the vein of seeing opportunity from negative situations, today we acted on our "people shouldn't" thoughts and it yielded a positive outcome.
As we were walking round the Eco centre grounds, we saw lots of litter and dog mess everywhere. My husband and I often get angry, having thoughts like "people shouldn't drop litter, people should pick after their dog". Instead of moaning, we decided to do our own litter pick.
While I often pick up litter, this time we had a lot of fun because the centre lent us pincers and a bag holder!
Our 4 year old loved it! We were all involved, the beautiful babies who share our lives watched and bobbed from the safety of their slings. In an hour we managed to fill a whole bin liner full of plastic bottles, wrappers, beer cans, cigarette butts, etc., and we all felt so fulfilled.
Litter pincers definitely going on my wish list.
Our next activity involved my walking ahead with a piece of chalk (okay I was sulking again - but I turned it into a game...) I used twigs to make arrows and drew arrows with chalk and my son and Captain Underpants followed us and loved it!
If you have an eco friendly activities for the family to enjoy please share x
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