Saturday, 15 October 2011

All by myself...

I suggested to my husband that doing a foundation course in non-violent communication would be very worthwhile for our marriage and family life, even his career. I let the seed sink in, it grew, and then he went off for the weekend.

I'm happy for him but am spending the weekend with my children but without him. Saturday has been fine so far but as night creeps in, I'm less amused. Why is it I feel perfectly confident in the day but now it is dark, even though I am surrounded by little bodies, I feel a little nervous. Feminist as I try to be I want a man in the house - not just any man, the man who shares my life.

But it is for a good cause I remind myself. You see Captain Underpants lacks empathy and finds it very hard to communicate without being.. hard. He says
what am I? Tin man?
I read recently that authoritarian parenting with all the forced "thank yous" and "say please" actually stops you feeling pleasure and gratitude because instead you feel manipulated and humiliated. As an example I didn't ask the lovely boy to say his Ps and Qs - so when he says thank you it is true gratitude. He can learn about English manners soon enough.

But I digress - what is non-violent communication? It is basically a way of communicating with compassion, removing all the beliefs and judgements and evaluations - a way to truely listen. Guess I'll be trying it all week and giving a report next weekend. I heard it has changed the dynamic of some families, I shall wait with hope!

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