I am numb and heavy, tired from a long family day out and feeling devoid of a sense of time. 5:24pm - is that all?
Whilst on our wonderful day out to the petting farm, I saw a woman spitting threats at her child - "I'm going to smack you if this continues". The boy sullenly followed her. He hadn't seemed to be doing anything to warrant an outburst. The woman found her friend and I watched her chastising him for walking slightly too fast, then she grabbed him by the collar and said something like "stop walking off! I am so angry with you walking off! I'm going to tell your father when we get home how bad you're behaving. Just wait till he gets home". I looked at her friend, placid emptiness etched her face. Is this behaviour normal for this woman? Doesn't she recognise the special amazing gift that her authentic son is?
I was stood there judging her, and then I recognised something in her. Me. I try to hide this thought, but then I confront it - sometimes I am abusive, sometimes I disrespect my son, sometimes I am a horrid child that doesn't deserve my children. So with knowledge of the truth I hope I can continue to improve. I hope I can raise myself to be the mother my children need me to be.
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